


Broken Promises

by aquatictalks



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Engagement, Cold Feet, Engagement, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Second Thoughts, Weddings, healthy communication is always the key, it's getting to him, jaemin is just stressed about a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23421709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquatictalks/pseuds/aquatictalks
Summary: Jaemin and Jisung were engaged. Jaemin wasn't sure he was ready for it.
Relationships: Na Jaemin/Park Jisung
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	Broken Promises

**Author's Note:**

> wayeheyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!! i've been in such a writing funk recently, so I was going through all my wips and was like hmmm what should I write, so I chose this one and worked on it and it came so easily and worked out a lot better than I thought it would (and I didn't even need the alcohol this time). please enjoy!!!!

_Jisung got down on one knee, “Will you marry me, Na Jaemin?”_

_Tears welled up in Jaemin’s eyes as he quickly nodded, “Yes. Yes, of course, I will marry you.”_

Jaemin and Jisung had been engaged for four months. A beautiful four months full of excitement, love, planning, more love. It was a beautifully bright period of time before it all blew up in both of their faces. 

\-----------

“Are you sure you’re ready to get married?” Jaemin’s older cousin, Jaehyun, asked him.

“What do you mean?” Jaemin asked, “Of course I am.”

“What makes you so sure?” Jaehyun asked. 

“Jisung and I have been together for three years, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I love him more than anything. I can’t imagine not being with him,” Jaemin replied. 

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be with him. I’m just saying that maybe marriage is a bit too soon,” Jaehyun told him. 

“Why?” Jaemin asked.

“Jaemin,” Jaehyun sighed, “You’re both so young, you just got out of college, and you haven’t even followed all of your dreams. You were so adamant about what you wanted, and now having to settle down with your husband, you’re not going to be able to do that.”

“Who says?” Jaemin crossed his arms, “Jisung has always supported my dreams and wanted me to go after what I wanted, that’s not going to change.”

“Do you really think things aren’t going to change?” Jaehyun countered, “Imagine how hard it will be to go around and travel and meet and work with artists with a life that is so settled in one place? I don’t think you would want to leave Jisung behind, but I also don’t think Jisung would be ready to get up and uproot everything to keep moving with you, because he has his own dreams and his own job that he is going to have and love. He hasn’t even gotten his degree yet.”

“Even if we weren’t engaged and getting married, we’d still be dating, so it would be the same. Just because we’ve made it legally official, doesn’t mean things will be harder,” Jaemin told him.

“Listen to me,” Jaehyun started slowly, “If you two were dating and going after your dreams just as boyfriends, and realized that you two couldn’t handle it because things were just too hard, it would be easier to break-up than it would be to get a divorce.”

“Why are you being so negative and acting like Jisung and I can’t handle a little bit of strain?” Jaemin was getting angry.

“It’s not like that,” Jaehyun said calmly, “I truly believe you and Jisung are stronger than you both realize, but at the same time, I want the best for you and I want you to think more about this. I think getting married is just a really big decision and you’re both not stable enough in your own lives and careers to hold a stable marriage. Love only does part of the work. Marriage is more complicated than that. Yes, it’s a beautiful, amazing, wonderful union. You know I love my husband more than anything else in this world, but we took our time. We got settled into ourselves before we settled down together. We work every day to maintain a healthy balance between love and life. I’m just not sure you and Jisung are ready for that, that’s all. It’s not a jab at you, or me doubting the love you have for him, or even the love he has for you. I’m just trying to make sure you’re thinking realistically and know what you’re getting into.”

“Jaehyun,” Jaemin got ready to argue again. 

“Just think about it. Actually think and reflect on what you want and where you want your life to go,” Jaehyun told him.

“Okay,” Jaemin sighed. 

Jaemin was letting Jaehyun get to his head. It had been a few days since Jaehyun had that talk with him, and it was not sitting right with him; nothing was anymore. Every time the wedding was brought up, or he had to get something else ready for the wedding it made his stomach turn. The idea of getting married was giving him more anxiety than it was making him excited like it should’ve been. He should be ecstatic at the idea of marrying the love of his life, of knowing he was going to be joined with Jisung for life, but he wasn’t. Maybe Jaehyun was right. 

Jaemin was pacing the living room, chewing on his fingernails when Jisung got to their apartment after his last class. 

“Jaemin, baby, what’s wrong?” Jisung dropped all of his bags, immediately rushing to Jaemin’s side. 

“Nothing,” Jaemin shook his head, “It’s fine.”

“That’s a lie,” Jisung said pointedly, “I can tell. I know you. You’re worried and stressed about something. So talk to me. You don’t have to hide it from me, I will share your worries. We’re engaged, we’re going to get married, we’re doing this life thing together.”

Jaemin sighed heavily, tugging at his hair, “Are you sure we’re doing the right thing?”

“What?” Jisung took a step back, “What are you saying?”

Jaemin closed his body off, hugging himself as he shut himself down, “The wedding. Are you sure this is the right thing to do?”

“Of course it is,” Jisung was trying not to get upset, “Why wouldn’t it be? We love each other, and you said so yourself that you wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. What changed?”

“Nothing changed, I still want to spend the rest of our lives together, I’m just… there’s so much to think about and make sure we’ve both actually thought about. I can’t just keep up this enchanted illusion without being realistic,” Jaemin looked down.

“Illusion?” Jisung crossed his arms, “Is that all our relationship is to you? An illusion?”

“No,” Jaemin groaned, “Fuck, Jisung, no. That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” Jisung asked, anger slowly rising. 

“I just think maybe the wedding is too soon!” Jaemin’s stress exploded, “We have so much of our own lives to still live and figure out.”

“We can figure it out together!” Jisung yelled back.

“What if something goes wrong?” Jaemin asked.

“Do you not believe in us?” Jisung asked.

“That’s not what I said!” Jaemin was getting frustrated, the stress building and eating at him from the inside out.

“Well, that’s what it sounds like,” Jisung argued.

“Fine! Then maybe I don’t! Maybe I think we’re going too fast, maybe I think we’re going to face a lot more struggles than we’re ready for, but we’re so charmed by the idea of marriage and being together, that we’re not thinking about real life,” Jaemin replied, “Maybe I don’t think things are going to work out as easily as you think they will.”

“Jaemin,” Jisung frowned.

Jaemin couldn’t think anymore. Everything was clawing at him, building, tearing at him harder. He was hurting and the look on Jisung’s face wasn’t helping. So he left. He wasn’t sure when his feet started moving, he never told them to, but they did anyway, and the next thing he knew he was at his record shop. 

Jaemin used to be a cashier at this small record shop. It was also the same record shop he met Jisung in when Jisung came in looking for a vinyl record from his favorite band, which was also Jaemin’s favorite, and they bonded quickly. Jaemin brushed his hand across the records, thinking about a time when things weren’t so confusing.

_Jaemin looked up as the bell over the door rang when it opened._

_“Hi,” Jaemin smiled, “Welcome to Multiple Melodies, can I help you find anything today?”_

_The boy looked at him, and smiled, “Yes, please. I’ve been to every record shop in town and no one has it. With Confidence is my favorite band and their Love and Loathing album is finally on vinyl and I can’t find it anywhere.”_

_Jaemin smiled widely, “Well luckily With Confidence is my favorite band as well, so I made sure we had them stocked. I’ll grab one for you. Anything else I can help you find?”_

_“No, that’s alright, that’s all I came for. Thank you,” Jisung said._

_“Wait here at the register,” Jaemin told him, “I’ll be right back.”_

_From that moment forward, Jaemin saw Jisung every day, Jisung always with the excuse that no other record shop had the album he was looking for. He always hung around to talk to Jaemin about music, and their favorite artists and favorite songs. Eventually, Jaemin finally asked Jisung on a date. As time progressed, Jisung didn’t have to have an excuse to come to the shop every day. He just wanted to come and see his boyfriend._

_Jisung would sit on the couch in the corner of the shop doing his homework until Jaemin closed up the shop. They would make out on the couch before Jaemin would walk him home, their hands intertwined the entire time._

Jaemin’s hands were shaking. He missed when things were that blissful and happy. They didn’t have any worries. They were just them, they were allowed to love freely and felt they could take on the entire world. Now Jaemin felt like the world was taking him, he could barely stand on his own. How was he supposed to take on the world with Jisung, when the world was weighing him down so heavily? He was meant to be a well-known music producer, traveling the world and meeting with artists and companies, but instead, he was just the owner of a record shop with his studio above the shop, making demos that no one was hearing. 

Jaemin went to the back room and walked up the stairs to his studio. He sat down in front of his computer set up, gently fiddling with the knobs on his soundboard. He remembered when he and Jisung got an apartment together and Jisung helped Jaemin turn Jaemin’s apartment into the studio it is now. 

_“Jaemin,” Jisung said softly, “I want you to move in with me.”_

_“Who is going to take my apartment then? I don’t really want anyone living above the store who I don’t know well, and I don’t know anyone looking for a place,” Jaemin said._

_“We could turn it into the studio you always wanted. It could be your free space to create and produce without any limitations. You’d have all this space to think and dream and manifest your ideas into a beautiful track,” Jisung suggested._

_Jaemin hugged him closely, “That sounds amazing. Thank you, Jisung. For everything.”_

_Every single day, after they were both done with their classes for the day, and after Jaemin closed the shop, Jisung and Jaemin would work for a few hours on setting up Jaemin’s studio before going home. To their home._

_Setting up the studio was fun, it was a project for both of them to work on together, that was something both of them, but especially Jaemin, would love. Jaemin loved his music, Jisung loved Jaemin, and they were together. It didn’t always come easy, especially after a long day._

_“The desk needs to go against the wall for now,” Jaemin said._

_“But it needs to be right here because when we set up the recording room, the desk will go in front of the glass on the outside, not inside the room,” Jisung told him._

_“Yes, but for us to get everything else in here in order to build the recording room, we need the desk against the wall for now,” Jaemin groaned._

_“But,” Jisung started._

_“Just push the desk up against the wall!” Jaemin snapped._

_“I’ll push you up against the wall,” Jisung muttered._

_They finally got the entire studio finished, and it was beautiful. Jaemin had a lot more space to work and create, and Jisung even set some things up for himself, so he could come to do his homework or just hang out in the studio while Jaemin worked, just so he could be near him._

_They looked at the room and then at each other, and Jaemin realized then, that this was his person. Jisung was his person, his everything, no matter what happened in his life, as long as he had Jisung, everything would be okay, and he would be happy._

_“I love you,” Jaemin said softly._

_“What?” Jisung gasped._

_That was the first time they would be saying those words to each other. Despite living together and being together for as long as they had, they had never actually said that out loud, they both just knew that what they had was love._

_“I love you, Jisung. I am completely in love with you,” Jaemin said again._

_“I love you too,” Jisung kissed him._

\-----------

Jisung was freaking out. He felt like his entire world was falling apart, and he couldn’t get in contact with Jaemin at all considering Jaemin left his phone (along with his engagement ring) on their bedside table. Jisung knew exactly where he’d go, but with Jaemin being the only one with a key, Jisung couldn’t get to him. He knew Jaemin didn’t want to see him so he decided against knocking down the door to the record shop; and at this point, he wasn’t sure he wanted to see Jaemin either. He felt betrayed.

He ran all the way to Chenle and Jeno’s place, crying into their arms as he said, “I don’t think there’s going to be a wedding anymore.”

“What?” Jeno asked, “What do you mean? What happened?”

“Jaemin left,” Jisung sobbed, “He said he was having second thoughts, we argued, and he just left.” 

“Why was he having second thoughts?” Chenle asked.

“He thought we were moving too fast and that we’re not thinking realistically enough,” Jisung sniffled, “But a lot of it sounded like excuses. I just think he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”

“No, Jisung,” Jeno frowned, “You know Jaemin loves you more than anything, and just because he’s scared and worried about marriage, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to marry you. Or let’s say he doesn’t want to marry you, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with you. He still loves you.”

“Well, that’s what I thought,” Jisung shrugged, “I wanted to marry him so bad. I was so excited… maybe that’s what scared him off. I was too intense, too excited, I pushed him away. This is all my fault.”

“No, it is not,” Chenle said quickly, “Nothing about this is your fault. It’s not Jaemin’s fault either. It’s probably just from stress, and things are getting to him, it will pass. He just needs to calm down. He also needs someone to talk him down and unwind him from this knot he’s gotten himself balled into. You need to do that. You need to talk to him, figure out where these concerns and worries are coming from, and ease them. You’re his fiance, go be one.” 

Jisung nodded, “And if he doesn’t want the wedding anymore?”

“Then he doesn’t want the wedding anymore, and you figure out where you both need to go from there. Try not to get emotional, I know it’s going to be hard, but in order for this to go well, you need to have a calm and mature discussion with him,” Chenle explained, “If you guys get into another argument, you may not get another chance to fix things.”

“Okay,” Jisung sighed, “Thank you. I’m going to settle this. I’m going to get my Jaemin back.”

“Good luck,” Jeno and Chenle hugged him.

\-----------

Jaemin looked at the couch in the studio that he and Jisung stood in front of when they had their first argument. Both of them were in tears, there was screaming and yelling and things were thrown. Finally, they made up and talked out their disagreement, and fell back into each other's arms and comfort. 

_“I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me?” Jisung threw the papers down on Jaemin’s desk._

_“Why would I?” Jaemin countered._

_“What do you mean why would you?” Jisung shouted, “You applied for an internship at a label across the fucking country. You don’t think I deserved to know that you would be in L.A. for six months.”_

_“You didn’t tell me when you went to Egypt for the summer,” Jaemin folded his arms._

_“I was on a family vacation, that’s different,” Jisung argued, “Why are you bringing that up anyway? There was no reason to try and use this to get back at me, especially after you said it was no big deal, so what’s your deal?”_

_“Why do I have to have a deal? Why can’t I just say what I want to say or choose to not say what I don’t want to say?” Jaemin asked, getting angrier, “Why am I the bad guy for not telling you that I applied to an internship? Why am I not allowed to go after the things I want for my life?”_

_“You know damn well that’s not what I meant,” Jisung poked his chest roughly, “I have always encouraged everything you want for yourself. So whatever is going on that you’re trying to deflect by taking it out on me, you need to cut it out because I’m not going to stand here and be your punching bag for whatever has made you this upset.”_

_Jaemin swallowed. Part of him was glad Jisung was able to read him so well and could tell he wasn’t actually upset with Jisung, but the other part of him was hoping that Jisung would get angrier and walk away so Jaemin didn’t have to face what he wasn’t ready to face._

_“Jaemin,” Jisung said gently._

_Jaemin couldn’t help but burst into tears. He dropped to his knees, sobs wracking his body._

_“Jaemin,” Jisung felt himself tearing up with him, “What happened?”_

_“They didn’t accept me,” Jaemin sniffled, “I didn’t tell you that I applied because they rejected me. They said that my tracks didn’t fit their style, and if I wanted to be a part of their label, I would have to follow their blueprint. They gave me a fucking list of rules to follow about how I need to make my tracks. I couldn’t just do that. I couldn’t just sit back and let someone tell me how I have to make my music.”_

_“Oh, Jaemin,” Jisung wrapped his arms around Jaemin’s body, pulling Jaemin into his chest, “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I got upset with you for not telling me. I understand, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been upset with you when you were hurting this bad.”_

_“It’s not your fault,” Jaemin shook his head, “I’m sorry for taking it out on you. You didn’t deserve that. I was just scared to face the fact that I’m a failure. I shouldn’t have done that.”_

_“You’re not a failure,” Jisung said._

_“Yes I am,” Jaemin replied, “Do you honestly think that’s the first internship I applied to? I’ve been rejected by five labels. Maybe I’m not cut out for this. I’m not the producer I thought I was. My tracks just must not be good.”_

_“That’s not true. I’m not just saying that because you’re my boyfriend, but I love listening to your demos. They’re so interesting and nice and just beautiful. I’m sorry that these labels aren’t seeing that. I know it sucks because you know how good you are and you know how much potential you have, and you feel like you’re wasting, but Jaemin, I see your potential. You’re going to go far, just keep trying. It’s us against the world, remember? The world is ours for the taking, so don’t give up,” Jisung told him._

Jaemin opened the top right-hand drawer of his desk, where he kept the one acceptance letter he got six months after the emotional conversation they had. The company was based in London, England. He was actually scouted by them the moment he graduated from his university and they asked him to apply for an internship. They accepted him, as they promised, but he couldn’t take it. He wasn’t sure Jisung would be okay with it. He wasn’t even sure if he was okay with it. He couldn’t leave Jisung, his friends, and his family for an entire year. Now, he was wondering if he made a mistake. The label said that should he change his mind, they’d still love to have him. He stared at their contact info until the sound of the door opening drew him out of his reverie. 

“Jaemin?” Jisung slowly stepped closer, like he was scared that if he moved too fast Jaemin would take off. 

“Jisung,” Jaemin whispered, “How did you get in?”

“You left the door unlocked,” Jisung answered. 

“Oh,” Jaemin nodded.

“What’s that?” Jisung asked.

Jaemin looked down at the manila folder in his hands. He sighed and handed it to Jisung. 

Jisung read over the papers in the folder, “What? What is this? You got an acceptance letter to a label?”

Jaemin nodded, “I got it about two months before you proposed. I was already wary about taking it, and then you proposed so I knew I definitely couldn’t take it.”

“Why couldn’t you?” Jisung asked, “This was the opportunity you’ve been waiting for.”

“It’s in London… for a year,” Jaemin told him.

“So?” Jisung asked. 

“So,” Jaemin started, “After you found the L.A. application, I saw how upset you were, and this was going to be even further for even longer. I didn’t want to leave you either. But I couldn’t just ask you to come with me. You still have a semester left of school, and your own career you’re chasing. You can’t just drop everything to leave with me.”

“You know I would’ve, though,” Jisung said. 

“I know you would’ve, but you shouldn’t have to,” Jaemin frowned.

“So why were you staring at it like that?” Jisung prodded.

“I was thinking about accepting,” Jaemin said truthfully.

“What changed your mind?” Jisung asked. 

“I’m sick of feeling like this. Stuck. I should be doing great things, but I’m not. I can’t even support us entirely and now we’re getting married, and we were supposed to take on the world together but I’m dragging you down. I can’t get any opportunities in our area, and now I can’t even accept this one because what kind of husband would I be if I took off for a year,” Jaemin frowned. 

“Is that why you were having second thoughts?” Jisung asked, “Because you wanted to leave?”

“It’s not that I want to leave,” Jaemin sighed, “I just want to build up the dream I have always had. Jaehyun said something to me that really hit me. He told me that yes marriage is a beautiful union, he loves his husband more than anything, but they took their time. They got settled into themselves before they settled down together.”

Jisung hummed for Jaemin to keep going.

“I don’t feel settled into myself. I still feel like I’m floating and I have nowhere to land,” Jaemin frowned, “I don’t want my uncertainty to affect you.”

“Jaemin, you realize, my dream job I can do from home,” Jisung comforted him, “I don’t need an official office or a job in a certain location. I can go wherever or whenever, and just fax, email, or mail my works to my editor. I can follow you wherever you would go if you wanted me too. I love traveling.”

“I can’t ask that of you,” Jaemin said, “You deserve stability.”

“I don’t give a fuck about stability,” Jisung told him, “I want you. You’re all I want. So why don’t you accept this acceptance letter, tell them you want to start in June so that way I will have graduated, and we will have time to cancel our lease.”

“What about the wedding?” Jaemin asked, “If I take the offer, we’ll be in London in September.”

“That’s up to you,” Jisung told him, “We can cancel the wedding, move it closer, or push it back. Whatever you want.”

Jaemin sighed, “I don’t know.”

“Jaemin, do you even want to marry me?” Jisung asked him.

“What?” Jaemin raised his eyebrow, “Of course I do. I told you I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I mean that.”

“Okay,” Jisung nodded, “Do you want to wait to marry me until you see how this internship goes? Or do you want to get married before we go?”

“Are you really okay with coming with me?” Jaemin asked.

“More than okay,” Jisung answered, “I’d be happy to.”

“Are you sure?” Jaemin asked again.

“Without a doubt,” Jisung stood firm.

“Can we make it sooner then?” Jaemin asked, “How about May 17th?”

Jisung smiled, “That sounds lovely.”

\-----------

Jisung teared up at the altar when Jaemin was being walked down the aisle by Jaehyun. All Jisung could think was how beautiful Jaemin looked in his suit and how lucky he was to be married to his man for the rest of his life.

Jaemin held Jisung’s hands the second he was standing at the altar with him. It made him feel less nervous about all the people staring at him. 

Jaemin slipped the wedding ring on Jisung’s finger that already had the engagement ring on, and began his vows. “I vow to love you in sickness and in health, in poorness and in wealth, until death do us part. I vow to give you everything I can, to support you in every way I can, to give you stability in us in this unstable world. I vow to put my trust in you and be a man that is worthy of you putting your trust in. For better or for worse, Jisung, I will love you until the end of time, from this life to the next, I will love you.”

Jisung couldn’t help but tear up as he slipped Jaemin’s wedding ring on his left ring finger along with the engagement ring that Jaemin swore to never take off again no matter what. “I vow to love you in sickness and in health, in poorness and in wealth, until death do us part. I vow to ease your worries, to ensure that you are happy, to give you someone to lean on when you’re stressed or scared. I vow to do whatever I can to always be open to you and to be a pillar for you when you’re hurting without getting upset or angry. For better or for worse, Jaemin, I will love you until the end of time, from this life to the next, I will love you.”

Jaemin was crying now too, both of them overwhelmed with love and happiness. 

“I now pronounce you man and husband,” the priest said, “You may now kiss the groom.”

Jisung placed his hands on Jaemin’s waist gently, then pulled him forward. Jaemin draped his arms over Jisung’s shoulder, lacing his fingers together as his hands rested just under Jisung’s neck.

“You ready?” Jisung whispered.

Jaemin smiled and nodded, pressing his lips gently against Jisung’s. Jisung smiled into the kiss, pulling Jaemin impossibly closer. 

The crowd was cheering, and Jeno and Chenle were crying from behind Jisung, and Donghyuck and Renjun were hugging tightly from behind Jaemin. 

The reception was even more beautiful than anyone could imagine. The lights were beautiful, the cake was delicious. Everyone was drinking, dancing, laughing, and smiling. And Jaemin never left Jisung’s side, which was going to speak for the way he would spend the rest of his life. He was never walking away from Jisung again.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twitter @hyunggusdelight


End file.
